Waiters rule

Not that there are any rules, at all. But when somebody screams "You!" from the other side of the restaurant waving their arm thinking you're their dog, I actually wish there were some. Some quite specific ones actually.
Firstly, I am not your dog. I'm a person, more than happy to happily serve you, as long as you do not blame on me for your day gone wrong. I'm not saying you have to smile at me, but please don't look at me like I was the one who cheated on you. She's sitting right next to you.
Secondly, there are some words you learned when you were a little kid. "Please" and "Can I...". I know you thought it was, but "I want!" is not one of them.
Thirdly, I know this is not your home, it isn't mine either. That does not mean you are supposed to make a total mess of it, 'cause someone is gonna have to clean after you, and even though you might think "that's your job!", it's not. My job is to happily and politely serve you, otherwise my job would be called "mess-up cleaner from space", not "waitress".
And a last thing. Don't place a coin in my hand as a tip, please don't do it. If you want to leave something on the table to show appreciacion for the service I actually am grateful. But do not put it in my hand pointing at how generous you are, you're just being...I won't finish the sentence. Just...be a bit classy if you want to do it at all- for God's sake!'Cause for as much as I appreciate the thought, I'm not after your charity. I do have a job. You might not have noticed 'cause you were too busy waving your arm, forgetting politness and making a mess of your table, but I was actually the one serving you today.